For a while now I have had a feeling that is hard to describe with words. It’s not fear or worry and it not excitement or hope, but it kind of feels a bit like all of those in some way.
What I am starting to see is that my intentions in life are becoming clearer as I focus on fulfilling a purpose bigger than myself and use it to create a harmonious life by design, which integrates everything from being fulfilled, being of value and service to others and enjoying success. Mmm, after mentioning success I should really mention the article I wrote the other day about what success is (or isn’t).
However you define success though I know what it is to me and since getting very clear about how I want to spend my time and what it is I want to do… and writing it down every day it is evolving into an ever clearer vision. Ideas come to me everyday and although this has been the case for several months now, the ideas I get now are starting to blossom and growing further than simply being "Good ideas". I am starting to naturally put plans in place and strategies to realize these ideas and give them life.
I have invested in the process of learning new things about myself and how I have created the results I have experienced up to now and it is really paying off. My intentions, focus and action of the last year or two is starting to show now.
So knowing what i know about myself I cannot ignore it ever again. Any patterns or automatic thinking that I have discovered and exposed cannot be overlooked anymore. Now they have become glaringly obvious, so with that comes more responsibility and less excuses outside of myself to use when things don’t work out the way I desire.
It reminds me of the character Jules in the movie Pulp Fiction (There is a lot more to that movie than the violence and language on the surface). After standing in front of a guy firing every single round from his gun at him from point-blank range, he finds himself still standing having been missed by every, single bullet. Now whatever the reasons for it: Miracle, magic, touch of God, whatever – he gets it. For him it is a sign that the path he is on brings him close to death in every moment and he has a chance to change his habitual lifestyle now he has some awareness of it.
I feel a bit like that. I have encountered a few close shaves in the last few years that have all contributed to waking me up to something of myself that is simply automatic and unconscious and now I am more conscious of certain things I do without any awareness of it, it is impossible to go back to being unaware of them.
From Longing to Living:
All in a Life's Work
Bill O'Leary
Derek Sivers
